Relief. Complete Relief.

today it finally happened.
After years of imagining a difficult conversation I would need to eventually have with my parents, it finally happened.  There were tears, there was laughter, there was honest, and most importantly there was pure love.  I have never once doubted there support and love for me, but hearing it when I needed to made it completely real.  It was easier than I thought, but took years of courage.  

After posting about being gay a year ago on my blog (check out "and here we are again") and one year later, my feelings are still the same.  I first came out to one of my best friends, Maggy, probably about 3 years ago now, but the journey has been interesting along the way.  While saying "I'm gay" doesn't seem like a big task, it was very hard right away.  But each time I have said it, I get a little bit stronger.  And a little bit prouder.  And more empowered.  I have to be honest about who I am in order to have others feel the same and support me too.  After a heartfelt message and conversation with Mommy, I know everything is better than I ever could have expected. :)

Now that my parents can fully know who I am, my double life is completely gone.  I can live one, whole life of love and support from all the people in my life.  No more hiding, no more shame, and no more tears.  Only empowerment to help others going through the same transitions in life.  By telling my story and sharing my experience, I only hope that it can help someone else do the same.  

Being silent doesn't help anyone, but being honest and open makes life even better.

Because this was such a big step in my life, I don't think I will worry too much about the rest of the day.  I am sure tonight is what I will really remember.  A song that has helped me a lot through the process of coming out is called "Blessing" by Scott Alan.  I recently watched a video of Scott talking about coming out to his mom when he was 23 (weird coincidence right?).  While his mom didn't wanna talk, my mom was all about talking.  I am lucky, but not everyone is so lucky as I am!  This was a song he wrote to tell her his hopes for his own life and his hopes for his family.  He purely wants there blessing for his life.  As I have often felt that approval is something I needed in life, a blessing is a much bigger statement.  

Having my parents blessing means the world to me and I know I will move into the future, more confident and happy than I ever have been.  The "Break the Silence" Concert is coming up at UWEC and I actually may be singing this song at it.  Now that my silence is broken, I want to share the message of this song.  Approval isn't something we all can find in life, but a blessing is something we are lucky to receive.  Even if you have to wait a long time for it, breaking the silence makes it all worth it.

Thank you mom and dad. (I know you will read this :)).  
Your love and support has shaped me to be the person I am.  Your love for one another has shown me exactly what I want in life and I only hope I can find a partner who I can love like  you love each other.

Enjoy every moment. 
MQ